my legs feel so smooth wo- oh my God i missed an entire spot: a memoir
We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.
*punches hole through casket* i forgot to clear my history
do you ever feel like your heart is swelling and about to burst because you love something so fucking much
like dave franco?
he’s a very do-able man
I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
now that we’re alone
//seductively brushes cracker crumbs off bed//